A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Hallo... - Erma Bombeck

"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."

"I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food"

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me."

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."

"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."