More quotes by Erma Bombeck

"Housework can kill you if done right."
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
"Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy."
"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?"it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."
"A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween."