When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back. - Bill Watterson

"Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience."

"You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"

"CALVIN:When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment."

"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."

"Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!"