More quotes by Bill Watterson

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."
"Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."
"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."
"Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!"
"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."