"When she’s cuddled close, I feel there’s nothing I can’t do, and I can’t do nothing about it, because my heart is her heart for as long as she wants it."
"Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and green. There’s no depression or envy when both blur into one."
"Necessity may be the mother of invention, but who is the father? Don’t look at me! I wore a condom."
"My new employer made me get a drug test, so I ripped off my shirt, flexed my muscles, and said, “You suspect me of taking steroids, don’t you?"
"I don’t want my love with her to wither like grapes on a vine, so I’ll water it with romance to turn it into wine."
"If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now."