My new employer made me get a drug test, so I ripped off my... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"My new employer made me get a drug test, so I ripped off my shirt, flexed my muscles, and said, “You suspect me of taking steroids, don’t you?"
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I may not be able to remember your name, but I remember your address and what time you leave in the mornings. Your name isn’t Rob, is it?"
"Eat, fast, and then eat fast. It’s a diet for both the body and the soul."
"People don't care what I wear or don't wear, and even if I don't wear anything people will cover for me if they know that I care about them."
"I said I made a special trip to get her favorite item, because it sounded more romantic than admitting I randomly had it already. Now that’s love."
"William Hurt has a painful last name. Kevin Love has a name perfect for February 14th. But what about Johnny Longdong? Where does he fit?"