"While I've never read Scientific American, I'll bet it is pretty scientific. And American. Just like those prehistoric cave drawings in the south of France."
"My coffee cup is empty. Why don't you pour your love in and wake up my soul?"
"I make love like I make coffins—with my bare hands, alone in my garage. On sale through Thursday—Buy One Funeral, Get A Second One Free!"
"When I lost her I gained the future, because she was my past, and she freed me to become who I was born to be."
"I didn’t give her my full attention. The bottle was half full when she started drinking. Still, from it she grew distracted, so my farming technique worked."
"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."