I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I... - Mark Twain

"Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else."

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"

"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."