More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"Pluto will always be a planet in my book. That’s because my book was published before Pluto was blacklisted by planetary scientists."
"I can read lips. Especially if they have words tattooed on them."
"When it comes to Schopenhauer, I think I need a To-Go box."
"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."
"I go to sleep in my business suit, because it makes my dreams of success seem more real."