More quotes by Jon Stewart

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
"Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively."
"Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake."
"I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character."
"Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion."