More quotes by Jon Stewart

"I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character."
"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."
"If we amplify everything, we hear nothing."
"Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people."
"Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake."