She has a body for years, and I have an astronaut tan. When... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."

"I feel like dancing. If I bring an extra wheelchair for you, would you like to join me?"

"I like my coffee like Colfax Avenue mixed with Atlantic Boulevard, and if you're buying then I'm driving. Let's sip this romance slowly."

"I hide how I feel, and I hide the fact that I hide how I feel, but I can't bury the past without having a funeral of the heart."

"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."