You know what I like most about people? Pets. - Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life

"The ultimate weapon is Lady Gaga’s music. Why kill the enemy when you can play her music and they’ll want to kill themselves?"

"My advice is to write in the nude. Unless you do your writing in a public restroom, and in that case, I’d recommend wearing flip flops."

"My love is like one of those wooden Russian nesting dolls (matryoshka doll). I know, because your heart fits perfectly inside mine."

"I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner."

"Love means the world to me. But so does a globe."