#mind-power

"Witticisms The greatest reward for coming up with some witty turn of phraseis that some day, if you're lucky,it may wind up in a fortune cookieat the very Chinese restaurant you're eating in!But if you get a big head about it,know it wasn't the flattery,it was the MSG."

"Rain Check I'm a shitty typist and speller, I hunt and peck,I wrote, "i LeFt mY sWeEtToOtH iN yOuR nEcKoF tHe WoOdS, cOuLd YoU pLeAsE bRiNgIt BeCk."Surprisingly, you did,and left."rAiN cHeCk."

"Forget the secrets of success, use Cosmic Ordering instead."

"Silly String [10w] Life' an absurdity radiating from a spine of silly string."

"Great Poets [10w] Great poets can milk blood and tears from a stone."

"Talking to Myself I used to talk to myself until myself criticized myself.Now I'm giving myself the silent treatment."

"Athens, Texas Haiku Blackeyed Pea Capital of the World.Yup, just another shithole."

"New Age Advertising ATTEND OUR REINCARNATION RETREATGuaranteed to be a once in a lifetime experience.Sure it costs $5000, but lets face it,you only live once."

"Rhyme vs. Reason {Couplet} Do not try to make rhyme of reason,nor reason of rhyme;For the former's too systematic,the latter's too sublime."

"Cosmic Ordering is a dish best served today."

"Hidden [10w] A woman is an iceberg;we see less than 10%."

"Poetry in a Bottle [10w] If you could bottle poetry you'd have one addictive drink."

"Gypsy When one gypsy spits on you, its disgusting;when two do, it's suspicious;when three do, you're late to a gypsy wedding."

"Legacy To leave a legacy,you first gotta leave your leg in the door."

"The universal mind acts as an advisor or guide. When you abide by its advice then you will get another opportunity to alter your destiny."

"Hello Poetry Needs Y'allz How empty the oceans would be were it only filled with orcas."

"Ode to a Wastepaper Basket I love the way you sit in the corner,gracious like a lover,catching my every crumpled vanity."

"Amputees Smart phones and the internet are the prosthetics our century cannot live without.Until we can put them down to take a quiet walk in the woods,we are all amputees."

"I have never seen a newspaper headline where those in spirit, without physical bodies, carried out evil deeds like a mugger in a parking lot."

"Lady Gaga Haiku A cow has a big head, deep voice, a long tongue, butLady Gaga he's not."