#positive-motivation

"Hypocrisy [10w] Religion without hypocrisy doesn't exist;that's man's imperfection, not God's."

"Travel [10w] The difference between a traveler and vacationer is one arrives."

"My Sweet Home, Alabama If it grows, it sticks, if it crawls, it bites,if it's outside, it rusts,if it's ornery, it fights,if it's a dawg, it barks.if its a possum, it feignsif it's a buggy, it squeals,if it's winter, it's summer,If it's slimy, it's eels.If it ain't Dixie, it won't do,so let's fix to get piss drunkand lynch us another nigger and Jew."

"Babel [10w] Building a tower to reach God doesn't require any bricks."

"Sex Kitchens of the Future [10w] Her entire kitchen was made of silicone ~ including her breasts."

"Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling."

"Using the Backdoor If we compare writing computer code to sex,then hacking would be anal sex."

"Evolution of Love [10w] Love evolved from when one monkey handed another a blossom."

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"New Age Advertising ATTEND OUR REINCARNATION RETREATGuaranteed to be a once in a lifetime experience.Sure it costs $5000, but lets face it,you only live once."

"Boundaries [10w] Receiving bribes blurs the clear boundaries between friends and enemies."

"Pizza vs. Internet Porn I'm still debating whether pizza or internet porn is the best thing ever invented.I've already jack-off three times while eating a double-cheese pepperoni piemaking my careful deliberations."

"Pushkin When Pushkin came to Shovekin all hell broke loose."

"What is God? [17] [10w] God has a fondness for cosmology and carbon-based life forms."

"Library [10w] Hopefully, the library in the afterlife doesn't contain contemporary poetry."

"Lonely Marriage is the best refuge of the lonely to be lonely together,and if it lasts long enough,take turns being lonely."

"Sink or Swim [10w] Lovers master the breaststroke, the crawl and the muff dive."

"Listen to the Wisdom of Shakespeare 'To thine own self be true and fuck'em till they're back and blue."

"Love, Mercy, and Grace, sisters all, attend your wounds of silence and hope."

"Privacy [10w] Why someone prefers his privacy is itself a private matter."