#sacred-wisdom

"Irish-Gaelic Wife-Fooking Proverb The truth can't be concealedI fooked your Caitlin from behind,because you can never plow a field by just turning it over in your mind.By the way, Caitlin's last words, before sucking me cock, were"Me husband's balls smells like ballyblue cheese, ahhhhhh, Éirinn go Brách!"

"Time is Not a Constant [10w] Time speeds up, crawls, compresses and expands depending on mood."

"As Long As It Has a Fast Internet Connection {Couplet} I need a cozy den to winter in,a hiberaculum away from the city's din."

"Children Learn to Love and Hate A child understands love by three months and hate by three years.How the child processes that understandingwill shape his character for the next seventy."

"Prolific [10w] "Perhaps I'm prolific because I believe creativity can forestall death."

"The Bonds That Tie Weak bonding is sharing a common interest;strong bonding is sharing a common enemy."

"Second Opinions My doctor told me I have pancreatic cancer and have 2 months to live.I asked him about getting a second opinion.The Doc said, 'No problem.'He thought for a second and said,'I think the Boston Red Sox are going to win the series again this year."

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Hill That's because my lawn is on a south-facing slope of the hill and more more open to sunlight and warm winds. It's dryer due to higher levels of evapotranspiration than my neighbor's greener north-facing slope.I'm not the least bit envious of the color of his greener grass.I'm just pissed that the prick owns a better piece of real estate."

"Jealousy [10w] Jealousy's like being reprimanded for a crime you haven't committed."

"Star No matter how bright the star, it's just part of a galaxy which is part of a constellation which is part of the night skywhich is part of the known universewhich is a speck of dust in God's eye."

"Detonation vs. Pre-Ignition [10w] Poets have thin skins;physicists call this differential burn rates."

"Hypocrisy [10w] Religion without hypocrisy doesn't exist;that's man's imperfection, not God's."

"Inspiration vs. Plagiarism [10w] Inspiration is improving on another's idea;plagiarism is copy/paste piracy."

"How to Treat Your Lover {Couplet} If you want to learn how your lover best to treat,Pretend each time is the last time you'll ever meet."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"

"Invisible Attraction What's invisible to the eye is that as you move towards love,love moves towards you."

"A Matter of Perspective I see rain dancing on the stage of the pond.Fish see heaven throwing a thousand kisses.My wife see a drizzle of olive oil on a pot of spaghetti. The scientist sees condensation and precipitation.The rain sees reincarnation.A poet see them all in permutation."

"Retail Haiku [7w] LollapaloozaLiquidation Blowout Sale.Everything Must Go!"

"Spreading Yourself Too Thin We tend to bite off more than we can chewbecause we've got big mouths."