"33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins."
"No matter how much water a sink takes on, it never lives up to its name. The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."
"Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies."
"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."
"I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink."