"33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins."
"The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me."
"On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars."
"There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house."
"I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet."
"My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?"