More quotes by Stephen Colbert, I Am America

"All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ."
"America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best."Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children."We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies."
"Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes."
"Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor."
"All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ."