#Satire

"This work was strictly voluntary, but any animal who absented himself from it would have his rations reduced by half."

"Magoo's appeal lies in our hostility toward an older generation. But he's not only nearsighted physically. His mind is selective of what it sees, too. That is where the humor, the satire lies, in the difference between what he thinks he sees and reality as we see it."

"Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?"

"Windmill or no windmill, he said, life would go on as it had always gone on--that is, badly."

"'Halal in the Family' will expose a broad audience to some of the realities of being Muslim in America. By using satire, we will encourage people to reconsider their assumptions about Muslims, while providing a balm to those experiencing anti-Muslim bias. I also hope those Uncles and Aunties out there will crack a smile!"

"Invisible things are the only realities."

"The universe is a million billion light-years wide, and every inch of it would kill you if you went there. This is the position of the universe with regards to human life."

"I just bought a bag of potato chips. It was a smart buy, because when this world runs out of clean air, I’ll have plenty in that one little purchase."

"Some men are born sodomites, some achieve sodomy, and some have sodomy thrust upon them..."

"Boggle with sex addicts is up there with go-kart racing with junkies."

"Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes."

"He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom."

"Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty."

"I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me."

"Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire."

"A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is, 'suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now'!"

"Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."

"My pen shall heal, not hurt."

"Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health."

"A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?"