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Stephen Colbert, I Am America

7 quotes

Quotes by Stephen Colbert, I Am America

"America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best."Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children."We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies."
"All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ."
"A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?"
"Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes."