More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times."
"She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up."
"There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that I didn’t hear it. But I laughed anyway, because I’ll bet it was pretty funny."
"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."