More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything."
"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."
"I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece."
"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."
"She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up."