More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"
"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."
"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."
"I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything."
"I am my own clone. I’m not who I was yesterday, but then again I am."