"Are you tired, irritable, or suffering from heartburn? Ask your doctor if my love is right for you. 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 9 out of 10 is 90%."
"I wear a glove to honor all the men who have given me a hand. And to think, out of all those men, they only had one hand. No wonder I never get any high-fives."
"The thirstiest bird is surely the swallow. My love is so fluid I’ll bet drinking it would give you the gift of flight."
"I am a fisherman among farmers, and as a farmer what I grow is tired of waiting for her to love me."
"In middle school, I got picked on a lot. But boy, it sure felt good to get picked, because who doesn’t like to get chosen and called out as special?"
"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."