"In middle school, I got picked on a lot. But boy, it sure felt good to get picked, because who doesn’t like to get chosen and called out as special?"
"I strum a fishing pole line like a guitar string. I hunt like a bow and arrow is a partial harp. And I make love like I’ve got a Buy One Get One FREE coupon."
"I have studied the astrological musings of the mystics, and I can conclude one thing: of all things cosmic, bowling is the best."
"A fridge will keep your steaks fresh, but keeping a live cow in grandmother’s room will keep the meat fresher. Let this be a lesson in love."
"I grew a garden in her heart. There was plenty of space for flowers, because her heart was completely empty of love."
"Put your middle finger and your thumb together. And make it snappy."