The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #Flas... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"As a sculptor, I prefer busts. As a lover of women, I prefer busts. And as a football enthusiast, I prefer Robert Griffin III."

"Relationships are like water. If you grab tight, clamping and clenching to gain control, you’ll lose it all. Instead, cup your hand gently, so she feels free to drink until her thirst is quenched."

"Before the NSA there was the Catholic Church. What is confessional if not a place to gather secrets? No wonder the church had all the power."

"If I were hairy, would you vacuum my chest before we made love? I’d probably have enough chip crumbs in it to feed the homeless, because I’m a charitable kind of guy."

"Her heart is so dark, if it were ink it’d be beyond black and would only be good for writing a murder mystery novel."