More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"One thought I think every person eventually thinks is, “Holy shit, I’m going to die!” Sorry, I just turned thirty yesterday, so my mortality is on my mind."
"Does Ziploc make body bags? I’ll bet the corpses would stay fresher for longer if they did."
"I fell in love with her the moment she was late, though neither one of us knew it at the time because she hadn’t arrived yet."
"Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers."
"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."