More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"A squeegee is a sponge on a stick, and if there is a tangible item that’s more romantic, I don’t know what it is. Never go on a first date without one."
"Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and green. There’s no depression or envy when both blur into one."
"I strum a fishing pole line like a guitar string. I hunt like a bow and arrow is a partial harp. And I make love like I’ve got a Buy One Get One FREE coupon."
"In a gust of guts and gusto, I told her of my love for her. Then, like a tornado, she spun what I said into something that terrorized Kansas."
"If I were hairy, would you vacuum my chest before we made love? I’d probably have enough chip crumbs in it to feed the homeless, because I’m a charitable kind of guy."