Between hello and goodbye is I love you. - Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"Lie to me. Just to console my soul."

"I heard a song I hate and I thought of her. Ah, such is love."

"My soul left my body, and my body left my clothes and went streaking through the streets."

"I walk with a purpose. And a limp. (The limp helps serve my purpose, which is to gain sympathy.)"