"What’s the opposite of start? Would the average person think stop or finish? The answer may reflect the difference between a winner and a loser."
"Faith: a device of the mind, fed by the soul, that functions like crutches to a man in a wheelchair."
"Education will only take you so far. To go even further, I’d recommend getting a piggyback ride from a midget half your body weight."
"Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans."
"Reading a book is like having the ability to dip a straw into the author’s soul and sip and slurp without lowering the water table of wisdom."
"Are you happy here with me? Because if not, we can scoot over a few feet."