More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to tell the politicians how much I love them."
"I’ve only been in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky finger. I could have held up my index finger, but I wasn’t in love that long."
"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."
"Necessity may be the mother of invention, but who is the father? Don’t look at me! I wore a condom."
"I’m feeling morass, when I should be feeling more ass. I can put my sadness behind me with what’s behind you."