More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Science doesn’t listen. Science has mice growing out of its ears. Wait, I mean human ears growing out of its mice."
"Either I will love you, or I will love you if and only if you love me in return. I prefer the former."
"Clutching to your fading youth is like trying to hang on to a handful of smoke. Just breathe deeply and you’ll be OK."
"There are two typos of people in this world: those who can edit, and those who can't."
"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"