Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate). It tastes... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."

"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."

"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"

"It doesn’t take a hurricane to blow out a birthday candle. Let this be a lesson in love—and cake etiquette."

"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."