"We made love like two folding lawn chairs. We were both motionless, but the possibility of movement permeated the moment."
"I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot."
"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."
"A crate full of discreet would appear to be empty. But it’s not. It’s full of my love for you."
"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."
"You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down."