"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."
"When I make love, I make extra, and then I keep it in my pants pockets. Well, not all of it. I give an inappropriate amount to the tax collectors."
"She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love."
"I’m running from the very person I’m chasing, and this is how I know I’m in love."
"I’m always the last in love by exactly one person."
"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"