Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes... - Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
More quotes by Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."
"It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing."
"There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself."
"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them"
"When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them."