"Everyone’s different, and in that way everyone’s the same. Stand out by sitting down. Try my love seat—it’s made for two people, so you can be comfortably obese."
"I fight like a rocking chair in a boxing ring. That’s also how I make love. I should probably sell popcorn at my shows to boost revenue."
"Sometimes I ask myself, "Do I have the courage to do the right thing when it matters most?"And that answer, I'm afraid, is silence."
"Love isn’t in a hurry like a flurry of flowery words on paper. It’s lush and slow to grow its aroma in the garden of time."
"I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home."
"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."