Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor its... - Mark Twain

"A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat."

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know."

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up."

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."