Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody e... - Will Rogers

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."

"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."

"You know, everybody's ignorant, just on different subjects."

"Never miss a good chance to shut up."

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."