Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who... - Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

"Redemption, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religions, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it."

"Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others."

"Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel."

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

"Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly."