Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling... - Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

"Redemption, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religions, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it."

"HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There arefour kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, andpraiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slainwhether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is foradvantage of the lawyers."

"Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable."

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

"Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage."