#definitions

"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."

"Wit is educated insolence."

"Tears are words the heart can't express"

"Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel."

"An alcoholic is someone you don't like, who drinks as much as you do."

"Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on."

"The beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms."

"Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."