"Flowers and fear are a lot alike. For one, flowers and fear have a distinct smell, and two, I’m currently trying to grow both in my garden."
"Moral codes are like the ocean. Some people live by them, while others, such as myself, would rather live by a lake."
"I don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much."
"The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago."
"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"
"I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size,"and I thought, That's odd, I didn't know too many families showered together."