More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."
"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."