More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."
"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."
"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"
"If religion is a crutch, then society is the broken foot."
"There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that I didn’t hear it. But I laughed anyway, because I’ll bet it was pretty funny."