"He said he came in second place, so I assumed there were only two competitors. But you never know with love, there may have been a third party involved."
"If you don’t know how to love, then any old robot or mechanical device would best suit your relationship style. In this situation, vacuum cleaners might make the best lovers."
"I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break), I ended up completely forgetting."
"I run like I walk—only slower. And I make love like a one-man circus show."
"You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen."
"When I make love, I make extra, and then I keep it in my pants pockets. Well, not all of it. I give an inappropriate amount to the tax collectors."