"Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag."
"Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other."
"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."
"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."
"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"
"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"