"Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag."
"Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other."
"Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon."
"Love is silence multiplied by noise and divided by two."
"Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that."
"It doesn’t take a hurricane to blow out a birthday candle. Let this be a lesson in love—and cake etiquette."