"Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag."
"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."
"Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights."
"My love is rare, like a hornless unicorn."
"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."
"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."