"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."
"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."
"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"
"Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other."
"I left a jar in the doorway to leave the door ajar, but love never walked in."
"Asking me if I’m in love is like asking a mortician if now is the best time to die."