"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."
"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."
"Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday and the day before. And the day before that too."
"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."
"She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love."
"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"