"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."
"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."
"I believe in true love. But my opinion is tainted, because I also believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and in the existence of honest politicians."
"Escalators are the offspring of elevators and stairs. Love is the progeny of passion and admiration."
"Love is tender, like the pot roast I’m keeping warm in my shoes."
"What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love."