"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."
"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."
"I spray-paint my underwear gold, because it makes me feel like a winner. When two people are in love, one is always in second place."
"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."
"In a bookstore you can find me in the romance section, because I’m not a lover, I’m a reader."
"I am the archaeologist of love. I’m digging for the bones of a loved one I shot and buried decades ago."