More quotes by George Carlin

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
"I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate."
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
"How is it possible to have a civil war?"