More quotes by George Carlin

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
"I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker."
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot."
"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."