More quotes by George Carlin

"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."
"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."
"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"Meow” means “woof” in cat."