More quotes by George Carlin

"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up."
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."