More quotes by George Carlin

"I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker."
"Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes."
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck"
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"