If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? - George Carlin

"Meow” means “woof” in cat."

"I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I"in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I"in independence, individuality and integrity."

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."

"It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot."